Thursday, January 28, 2010

DRINKS WITH ANDRE - #fridayflash


The other night at Smitty's I was bummed since there were more men in the joint than usual. Even more annoying was that I was stuck next to Andre, quite possibly the most annoying dude on the planet because he didn't know squat about bar etiquette.

Like most of us, I hated Andre because when he was in a good mood he'd be the guy flaunting everything he owned -- from his Swedish watch to his German car -- all the while basking in wretched French cologne.

Now I'm the kind of guy that usually drinks and drives American - I don't want to know about your foo-foo wines or Cognacs and I especially don't need to hear your problems all night when I have my own.

But he wasn't in his usual good mood the other night. It seems Andre's lil' cufflink - the exotic one he really didn't deserve - recently found itself in the French cuff of a better shirt. I told him he needed to get over it ASAP.

After hearing a thousand reasons why he needed her back, I bought him four shots of Jack, got him beyond sauced, and thoroughly enjoyed watching him puke in the parking lot from my bar stool.

Head hung low, his Tiffany chain smacked him in the eye. I smirked and scooped up the dough he left on the bar and jammed it into my back pocket.

11 comments:

  1. Real and atmospheric, Anthony

    "It seems Andre's lil' cufflink - the exotic one he really didn't deserve - recently found itself in the French cuff of a better shirt."

    Loved that sentence, mate. Classic!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll second David about that sentence!

    Liked how the setting came through.
    There are no bars like this in the UK, maybe I should open one - they have a definite appeal.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ta! WE all need friends z like you.

    Like the new look here too, Ant. Always classy at the Basement.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Heh, never heard of a girl referred to as a cufflink before - that's a nice one. Good bar story :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nice-always love your use of language. And hey, Jack will do that to the best of us.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  7. It seems the sentence

    "It seems Andre's lil' cufflink - the exotic one he really didn't deserve - recently found itself in the French cuff of a better shirt."

    is very popular, I loved it too. Like the attitude in this piece, great!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Cufflink! great stuff :) well done.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love your voice! It's like a cross between Damon Runyon and 50's Crime Noir. Your character development is both dark and funny. I look forward to reading more!

    ReplyDelete

Say something... Anything...