Note: In honor of today's Google Doodle and the fact that everyone's favorite prehistoric cartoon is 50 years-old today, I give you this kooky piece of flash.
Betty Rubble knew it was time.
It had been more than a year since Barney Rubble left her for Gabbie Gabbro, that slutty secretary from Mr. Slate's office. Betty thought she should've known better. She had the same job 15 years ago when Barney used to make up excuses to visit the boss. Yeah, it's was time. Betty knew she had to get out there sooner or later.
The house had been eerily quiet. Hoppy died after Barney ran over him accidentally a few years back. And as for Bamm Bamm Rubble? He had to be sent to the Shale Center because he actually never learned to say anything more than his name. Couple that with an abnormal sense of strength and he simply had become too much for Betty. So the house was now empty.
She thought about switching back to her maiden name -- Betty Basalt -- if she was gonna to be on the make. It had more of a ring to it, she thought. So, with just enough side boob showing, Betty strolled into the Limestone Lounge and ordered her first rocktini in years. And holy shonkinite, did it go down easy.
And that music... Mikey Marble and his Minettes. Smoothe. She was getting that mojo back and as Betty moved on to single malt Monzonites, she became reflective and thought of all those years ago.
She remembered the Flintstones next door. Fred finally had that heart attack. It was all that yelling and ranting that finally did him in. In fact, that's what sparked Barney into exercising and undoubtedly getting the attention of young secretaries at the quarry. Wilma took that cutie Pebbles away and last Betty heard, the teenager snagged the the Miss Marble crown. Good for Pebbles, Betty thought. Had Bamm Bamm been normal, they would've made such a cute pair.
It wasn't long before she was approached. He was handsome enough, Betty thought, asking his name.
"Pumice," the stranger said. "Paulie Pumice... I sell baby dinos. I can give you a good price..."
The music got louder and Betty tried not to look bored.
Art: The incredible Glen Barr. Music: "The Flintstones" by Hoyt Curtin can be downloaded HERE.