Thursday, March 11, 2010

OUR AFTERNOON WITH MR. WALKER (flash fiction)


The three of us met in on a base in Okinawa right before the end of the war.

Sam, always the big galoot, worked on planes that Buddy the Hick jumped out of. It was hot that July afternoon -- so sticky in fact that none of us grunts were shocked when General Barnes almost dropped dead.

For me, though, Barnes' ticker wasn't the news of the day. I learned from a Western Union telegraph that fatherhood would be soon upon me.

Needing to get behind the cork a bit, the three of us snuck into the commisary, past a few idiot MPs on lunch detail and into the closet-sized company store where a brand-spanking new bottle of Johnnie Walker Red Label was waiting for us.

I remember holding the bottle, swigging the blend, and passing it to my brothers in arms. It was my favorite moment of the war.

Buddy the Hick wanted to go into town to get a whore but I opted out. He and galoot Sam hopped a richshaw and swapped half a pack of cigarettes for a night of sin with Filipino twins.

Me? I went back to the barracks and cried like a baby, hoping I would make it out of this hellhole to raise my unborn child.

12 comments:

  1. Wow. That's a flash all right! Finishes just when you think it's about to start. Well, I have the rest of the day to think about whether he makes it out or not. Oh, wait. He's the narrator. Probably he makes it.

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  2. There's such a wide range of emotion in this short piece. You do a great job of creating these characters.

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  3. You wrapped this up nicely even though it seemed to be the start of a longer piece. The narrator's reaction was unexpected (I assumed drinking and celebration), but very authentic. Good work.

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  4. you can pour for me anytime ant. smooth..

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  5. Top notch again,Anthony. You do flash fiction like nobody else. Excellent mate.

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  6. my god, I've missed reading your work. There is so much honesty in your writing and you pull it off with class. LOVE this.

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  7. I like the voice in this--the laid back coolness in spite of the environment - a touch of normalcy against a chaotic and violent backdrop. The ending is gut wrenching. Well done, sir!

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  8. Great slice of wartime and each one's way of coping. Great characters!

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  9. Great story and a wonderful snapshot in time. I wonder how often that really happened.

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  10. The ambiguous ending was great. Why go out with a gee whiz bang ending when you can do this? Leave the reader wanting more. It's like life, you don't have all the answers at once.

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  11. Marvelous flash, so packed with character and emotion. Your settings are so interesting too.

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  12. I am always amazed at your voice - so snappy, humorous, deep, very rich and original. Some try to pull off this kind of work, and they just can't do it like you.

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