Focusing only on the squeaks of the rusted bedsprings, she felt his sweaty stubble deep in her neck and she almost cried.
Ivan – at least that’s what he said his name was - reeked a pungent mix of English Leather, Wild Turkey, Vitalis -- oh yeah, and wicked b.o. As he pounded away, Ivan kept making her say his name over and over as she moaned.
When it was done, she hid under the sheets and watched him wobble down the flophouse stairs. Eventually, she found enough strength to make sure he was actually gone and tiptoed into the hallway.
She weeped into a crouch and found comfort in a long, slow and tired drag.
That was her first and it was over.
A lifetime later, a bloodied older Ivan showed up in her ER and she quickly remembered her first night as the world’s most inexperienced hooker.
Using the expertise she learned at her very expensive med school, she decided that Ivan couldn’t be saved.
She left Ivan on the stretcher and ripped off her rubber gloves, throwing them into the trash. "Thanks for the textbooks, jerkoff..." she whispered to herself. "Too bad you won't find out what was in them."
That was her first and it was over.
# # #
A lifetime later, a bloodied older Ivan showed up in her ER and she quickly remembered her first night as the world’s most inexperienced hooker.
Using the expertise she learned at her very expensive med school, she decided that Ivan couldn’t be saved.
She left Ivan on the stretcher and ripped off her rubber gloves, throwing them into the trash. "Thanks for the textbooks, jerkoff..." she whispered to herself. "Too bad you won't find out what was in them."
Loved it. The bastard got what he deserved.
ReplyDeleteHarss, gritty and stark. I'm constantly amazed how you flush out characters in so few words.
ReplyDeleteExcellent tale, capped with a killer final line...
ReplyDeleteAh, working her way through medical school. A very good twist to this commendable flash.
ReplyDeleteGritty. Both parts of her life. Good story!
ReplyDeleteI remember her! Weren't you the one who threw out her challenge on 6S way back when? I think her tale's grown a little. Grown gritty.
ReplyDeleteYes, John... I did throw up that challenge. GREAT MEMORY. The cool pic helped, tho, prolly...
ReplyDeleteYup. I fleshed it out a teeny bit. Of late, my flashes were getting a tad long and it just wasn't in me to write what I had originally intended tonight -- a vamp tale -- so I dusted off this older piece and tweaked it.
You said so much in such a short space. Really great job here. I really felt for her and loved that she was able to triumph in the end.
ReplyDeleteI remember this pic from one of your old challenges at 6S, great tone and feel to this one Ant.
ReplyDeleteLoved those last lines. That'll teach him.
ReplyDeleteGREAT story, Anthony! Seriously. I can see a whole novel wrapped around her. Beach reading... sexy prostitute pays her way through med school, seeks revenge on nasty johns... (no, I wasn't referring to Mr. Wiswell -!- Really, Ant, this is a keeper character.
ReplyDeleteThat'll teach Ivan who's got the power. Loved the finale. Peace...
ReplyDeleteAll this hate for the "John". I had no sympathy for "Ivan" but it felt like her decision to let him die, practical as it might be, is laced with revenge for an act that she chose for herself.
ReplyDeleteRegardless, I couldn't agree more: great little story and strong character. I'm a new fan, Anthony.
WOW. WOW.
ReplyDeleteThat ... that was one HELL of a punch, Anthony.
BRILLIANT flash piece. EVERYTHING done right.
I stand in awe of your skill, sir. That was incredible.
short and sweet...christ, that made for good reading on a friday afternoon at the job.
ReplyDeleteI gotta say, loved that first line up until I realize whatwas going on. Way to pop my bubble, mister.
ReplyDeleteSir Ivan got himself a good case of What comes around goes around. It happens to the best of us.
Great flash, bud.
Wow. I would never have expected that. Amazing write, sir.
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The first half would work very well on its own, too - as a much different total piece, of course.
ReplyDeleteStrong character here
Whoo, great story, Ant. Really powerful small piece. Love everything about it. Talk about tying up loose ends.
ReplyDeleteShe's an awesome character. Killer story.
That was harsh from start to finish. Any guy who makes you say his name and has wicked BO, deserves to die.
ReplyDelete; )
Well the writing was perfect, I won't disagree with that. I guess I was disappointed in her character. She used her body to get into medical school because she wanted to save people or was it just the money??? In the end, she wasn't any better than he was.
ReplyDeleteWell I'll be damned.. more than met my eyes here.. This was a great story that had many things within such a short space..
ReplyDeleteNice...real nice....
Oh nice revenge story. Really original take on the whole thing
ReplyDeleteNicely done, a good 6S to be resurrected - love that pic too. They do say revenge is best served cold!
ReplyDeleteYeah, that hard youth certainly led to a educated yet harsh woman. Nicely told story, Ant.
ReplyDeleteI never liked the name Ivan. Great write, Ant.
ReplyDeleteGreat first line, great last line, great middle. Just great Ant!
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