Friday, February 19, 2010

LOVE IN PINE VALLEY (flash fiction)


Edgar had been going to the Pine Valley Mountain Lodge for the greater part of 1942 and always on Wednesday nights.

The gentleman's club of it's day, the risque rustic lodge was buried deep within the woods of a secluded lake town in Northern New Jersey. Its working gals were mostly fresh out of high school, overly friendly and extremely easy on the eyes.

It's wasn't the corned beef or the cozy fire that kept the handsome stranger so loyal to the place but the company of its scantily-clad waitresses - namely one Edna Barry. With the jasmine perfume wafting from her cleavage, she'd always serve her coffee with a smile.

At first, Edgar took her rejections in stride and figured if he was persistent enough, they could at least enjoy the latest Cagney picture at the drive-in. Eventually, Edgar didn't take 'no' kindly and Edna had to shuffle her shift before quitting the lodge altogether.

After loose lips at the lodge told the suiter where he could find his sweetheart, Edgar once again laid on the charm. And this time, he was super persistent. The pair eventually made it to the drive-in for the latest Cagney picture.

He in the front seat of his Plymouth. She in its trunk.

14 comments:

  1. Now that's persistence! Press on fine writer, press on.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww. Poor Edna. Better she shoulda put out a little, you know? Can't expect a guy to live on coffee alone.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You would have thought she would have picked a better place to watch the film from. Maybe she didn't like Cagney...what? Ohhhh...now I see!!
    Love this sharp piece, Anthony. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nothing worse than missing the start of a 'flick', especially 'cos of a woman. ;-)
    Great piece as usual, Anthony.

    ReplyDelete
  5. you are wicked. i'm surprised edna didn't wear 'evening in paris'...

    ReplyDelete
  6. You really cranked up the the creep factor on this one. I think I've known a few Edgars. Great job, as always, Anthony.

    ReplyDelete
  7. There is an Edgar in every bar, but hey, with a name like Edna, what could the broad really expect?
    Dom Pérignon and truffles? Uh-Hu, not from Edgar.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Now that was a piece of flash! Well done Ant. It is "corned" beef by the way, a pickling process involving soaking the brisket in brine.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ha! Loved the ending. Creepy in the best way. Peace, Linda

    ReplyDelete
  10. Love the matter-of-fact tone at the end!

    ReplyDelete
  11. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Excellent! Love what Laurita wrote ("cranked up the creep factor") - that nails it best for me. Short, descriptive, tight, and concise. Well done!
    KM

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yes, the matter of fact ending, so cool. Your flash has style.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Another flash, bang, wallop of a last line. Nice setting too. I like your settings.

    ReplyDelete

Say something... Anything...