Friday, April 2, 2010

GENTLEMAN'S CALL (flash fiction)

The last thing I remember was leaving the pool hall. And that smell.

Like most billiards joints, this one was on the second floor. It sat above a massive fabric emporium boasting in brilliant red neon that they sold 'Over a million feet of fabric.'

We were leaving around 3 or 4 a.m. and I kept looking up at her wondering if I was walking too fast or if she was just too goddamn slow. As fucked up as I was, I remember questioning whether she had let me win. I mean, I'm no Minnesota Fats, but I can certainly hold my own. And while the game was relaxed, she seemed to cave just a little too easy.

As payment, she owed me a lapdance. No one plays for money anymore. I looked up at her again and thought that she was just way too hot for me. Stumbling a bit, I kept reminding myself that I wasn't dreaming, but the more I did, the foggier everything felt. I started to float.

Hazy and stupefied, the fall down the stairs probably should have killed me but the crickety banister helped my pudgy midsection surf its way down the concrete flight.

I woke up in a hospital a few days later. My mouth felt like cotton.

The doc assures me that I can live on one kidney.

The detectives tell me they're looking for her and whatever underground operation outfit she's with and that the papers didn't get wind of the story. But it was just a matter of time.

I clicked my morphine drip. That's the last thing I needed -- explain to my mother that while I played pretty good off the rail that night, her little boy got hustled for his kidney.


  1. Good stuff as always, Ant! Just didn't see it coming...

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Pool hustling for kidney rustling! Excellent take on the picture,(as viewed on a tumble down the stairs)and a cool twist in the end!

  4. Nice one, and yeah, I didn't see that twist coming either. I liked the odd detail of him worrying about his mother's reaction.

  5. Is it an insult that she didn't steal his heart? ;) Maybe that too.

    Loved the way this played out...was kind of hoping she'd steal his kidney after the lapdance.

  6. Nobody plays for money anymore. That was ominous. I figured he'd get hustled, but I didn't figure it would be by that kidney stealing ring. This rocked.

  7. Great story. Iv'e heard of body snatchers, scalping and now body parts. I love the vivid description in this.

  8. I like the use of the "first person" voice in this piece. It makes the story seem real. I was totally gobsmacked by the twist at the end.

  9. Damn, Ant -- you're ever so ON in your voice. "Nobody plays for money anymore" ... you shot this one to the corner pocket so cool, right down to the morphine drip. Must be your power break, eh?

    ~ Absolutely*Kate, absolutely grinnin' 'cause there's sure NO such thing as a coincidence -- check AT THE BIJOU's weekend Matinee of "The Prints and The Popper" - epic'sode 5 - "Lucky Shot" -- was already written before I lucked into finding this piece -- You're kinda the feature there ...

  10. Man, I think he should have at least gotten the lap dance first...
    I love that he worried about his mother!

  11. Perfect execution. They both lusted after flesh. She won. Women always get what they want - one way or another.


Say something... Anything...