IF ELVIS WERE ALIVE AND MADE A COMEBACK ...

... It might look like this.

Allow me to backtrack a bit. I've had more minor illnesses and colds this year than I think ever before and spent many a day and night watching crap on cable that I probably never would.

One day, there was a flick called "Lonely Street" on that starred comic Jay Mohr. Being that Mohr is a Jersey boy, I decided to give it a whirl. The film has an interesting pedigree. It's directed by Peter Ettinger and stars Robert Patrick, Nikki Cox, Ernie Hudson, Mike Starr, Joe Mantegna, Paul Rodriguez and comedian Katt Williams.

"Lonely Street" is the first film to be adapted from the popular series of detective novels by Steve Brewer.

The official synopsis as as follows:

Bumbling PI Bubba Mabry (Mohr) will take any assignment to pay the rent, so when JG (Mike Starr) offers him some serious cash to protect a mystery client from an overzealous reporter, Bubba thinks he's got it made but gets more than he bargained for when he discovers his client is Elvis -- aka "Mr. Aaron" (Robert Patrick. Mr Aaron has faked his death and is planning a comeback.

When the case takes a wild twist and the reporter turns up dead with Bubba as the prime suspect, he enlists the help of streetwise Rodent (Katt Williams) for some fast answers. With Detective Romero (Paul Rodriguez), Captain Morgan (Ernie Hudson), the beautiful bombshell Bambi Gamble (Nikki Cox), and a sexy tabloid editor, Felicia Quattlebaum (Lindsay Price), hot on Bubba's tail in this whodunit, a rock-n-roll roller coaster unfolds.



Standard comedy caper stuff and the film probably could have probably been better. So why am I writing this?

Camp and one-liners aside, what makes the film worthwhile was the stupendous performance by Robert Patrick as The King of Rock and Roll. We all love to wonder what Elvis would have been like has he lived. Did he fake his death? What would he have looked like? What would he have recorded? And I just love the fact that the novel and film depicts Presley as a health freak -- complete with wheat germ and smoothie shakes.

And wow... Patrick's take on The King is uncanny and film's comeback tune for Elvis is F@#%ing killer, embedded below...

Warning: Don't watch or listen if you don't want this tune in your head all night.

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'BOND,' 'SUPERMAN' WRITER TOM MANKIEWICZ DEAD AT 68

Screenwriter Tom Mankiewicz, the scribe and script-doctor who made his bones penning such James Bond films as "Diamonds Are Forever," "Live and Let Die" and "The Man With the Golden Gun," has died at 68.

Known for his trademark light and breezy writing style, Mankiewicz once said he had endured snickers for his association with the sexy Bond films. He told the Miami Herald in 1987: "I don't apologize for entertaining people."

In 1978, Mankiewicz received a controversial credit for rewriting the 1978 Richard Donner film "Superman" and its 1980 sequel. Donner hired him to rewrite the impossibly long script (by "Godfather" scribe Mario Puzo), and stayed with the project for more than a year.

At the time the script drafts combined were more than four hundred pages long (an impossible length to shoot) and Donner felt they were much too campy as well. He brought Mankiewicz aboard to do a complete overhaul in terms of length, dialogue and tone.

Mankiewicz stayed on the production for more than a year, assisting Donner in other departments as well. Donner referred to him as a "creative consultant."

The Writer’s Guild strenuously objected on two grounds; first, that the traditional script arbitration process was being bypassed and second, that Mankiewicz’s credit came after the original screenwriters and not before them, implying that his contribution was more important. The dispute went to a legal hearing. Mankiewicz won.
His credit remained where it was on "Superman: The Movie," but he agreed to have it come just before the listed screenwriters on "Superman II." In the 2006 documentary "Look, Up in the Sky: the Amazing Story of Superman", Mankiewicz accurately describes "Superman: the Movie" as a three-act play exploring Superman's three separate worlds, describing the film's depictions of Krypton as "Shakespearean", Smallville as comparable to the works of Andrew Wyeth and Metropolis as a place where sarcasm flies.

"The Writers Guild didn't want to give him a credit, but he definitely deserved a credit," Donner told The L.A. Times on Monday. "I probably wouldn't have made the movie if Tom hadn't come on to rewrite it."

In addition to working and developing ABC's "Hart to Hart" for Aaron Spelling, Warner Bros. signed Mankiewicz to an exclusive deal and kept him busy “fixing” films. He wrote scenes for Steven Spielberg’s "Gremlins," Spielberg and Richard Donner’s "The Goonies" and John Badham’s "WarGames." He next wrote the first draft of Batman, the opening film for that successful series. Then Richard Donner brought him onto "Ladyhawke," the medieval romantic fantasy starring Matthew Broderick, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Rutger Hauer. He received shared screenplay credit and a separate credit as “Creative Consultant.”

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THE VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD

Well, it must be awards season in the Blogosphere. In the past couple of weeks, we were fortunate enough to receive The Fabulous Flash Award twice.

Yesterday, the talented Michael Brown has awarded Bukowski's Basement with the Versatile Blogger Award.

You can find his eclectic stories and observations by him and many talented contributors HERE.

As a recipient, I'm supposed to let you know 10 things about myself. Last week, I shared 10 so I may be at a loss but hmmmmm, let's see...

1. In high school (at an all boys school), I lettered in the newspaper and almost put it on my letterman sweater. Geeky. I know...

2. I've never read "The Catcher in the Rye" and don't really want to.

3. While the dream gig would be to work as a writer in TV or film, I'm most inspired by music.

4. On that note, some of the best concerts I've been to include Sinatra (a hunka times), Sammy Davis. Jr., Michael Jackson, Brian Setzer and Marc Anthony. The lamest? Jack Wagner. There was a method to that madness, I assure you.

5. I had Sly Stallone posters framed on each one of my walls growing up -- even on the closet door. To this day, I will watch any Rocky film anytime it's on -- even with commercials. Lord help me if there's a marathon.

6. Speaking of marathons, I live for Rod Serling's "Twilight Zone" marathon every New Year's on the SiFi Channel.

7. On my first car date, I locked the keys in my car and had to call my dad to rescue us. For the record, it was an October evening out to see a little flick called "Dirty Dancing."

8. I snuck (or is that sneaked) into the Playboy Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City when I was 17. Um... I was asked to leave.

9. Andrew Dice Clay (at right) made mince-meat outta me one night on stage in '89. When I interviewed him years later, I didn't remind him. A few years after THAT, he almost got me again, this time in Vegas -- thank God the guy next to me was wearing khakis.

10. I've never eaten an actual orange. I hate pulp and won't drink juice with even the slightest hint of pulp. I get most of my nutrients in pill form.

_______________________________________________________

OK, now for the fun part... I'm supposed to bestow this on 10 other bloggers but ... since I don't want this award to spread like the Black Death in medieval Europe, I'll slow down it's growth and only give it to five worthy recipients.

1. Conversations from Land's Edge - Hosted by Alan W. Davidson, one day you're reading flash fiction, another you're reading his eclectic film reviews and another he's in a red fez. Like being at your best bud's house...

2. Bella Vista - Themed after writer Pamila Payne's fictitious (and dreary) motel -- The Bella Vista -- explore this wonderful noirish landscape of dames, crooks and (anti-) heroes that spend time there. Settle in cuz these tales are second-to-none.

3. Omitted.

4. I've quickly become a fan of Tomara Armstrong's This, That... The Other Thing. While it's mostly flash, she brings it with her tight and crisp pieces. Nothing better than snappy flash and that's primarily what you'll find here.

5. With blog titles like "Open a Vein" and "Time Bombs and Kisses," Kat Del Rio's eclectic joint Crooked Tales is a mish-mash of noir, macabre, smut and sweetness in a tasty jambalaya of poetry and flash. Eclectic and truly original.

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THE BOOTLEGGER (#spokensunday)

The audio reading for my #SpokenSunday poem "The Bootlegger" can be found HERE.

Check out more #SpokenSunday action below via Twitter.

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TWENTY BUCKS (flash fiction)

The first time my dad gave me a crisp twenty dollar bill, I thought it might has well have been a million. That's how great it felt.

I was six and he told me that I could use the money to get whatever I wanted for my birthday.

"Can we go to Two Guys?" I asked.

He nodded and 30 minutes later, I was wandering their nine toy isles -- only the ones for boys.

Two Guys was like catnip for a six year-old. A precursor to stores like Best Buy and K-Mart, the discount chain was founded in Harrison, New Jersey by a pair of brothers, Herbert and Sidney Hubschman.

After opening their first store in 1946, they established quite the reputation for selling radios, TVs and your basic household appliances at rock-bottom prices. It was Jersey after all. Some of them may have fallen off of a truck or two. Just saying...

Much to the chagrin of their competitors, their business grew throughout the eastern seaboard and they were dubbed "Those two bastards from Harrison..." The insult stuck and the Brothers Hubschman wore at as a badge as they expanded and slightly modified it into "Two Guys."

So there I was, clutching that twenty dollar bill deep in my sweaty little palm and perusing such boy toys as the Planet of the Apes Treehouse and Evel Knievel's Stunt Cycle and Scramble Van. Those were fuckin' toys...

I thanked Pop for my gift - which by the way leaned towards the Simian persuasion.

"You'll get that twenty dollar bill every year," he told me. "Our secret. We'll have our little field trip. You and me."

I nodded.

"In the mood for some Stewarts?" he stated more than asked.

"What about mom?"

"She'll be fine..." Even though I was six, I knew what he meant and probably learned about subtext way earlier than I should have.

# # #

The years went by and so did the toys and gifts those twenty dollar bills helped purchase. Batman and Superman action figure begat Fonzie colorforms and a slew of baseball mitts and footballs.

By high school, the Old Hickory tradition didn't have that same oomph and by college, it was more of a symbolic gesture than anything else.

After the divorce, Pop hurt his back and went on permanant disability. A year or so later, he moved about three hours south since the cost of living let him to stretch his dollar a bit more.

Looking back, I may have resented his relocation and didn't speak to him as much especially with juggling girls, work and the books.

Estrangement aside, though, I planned to surprise him with a six pack of his favorite beer on my 21st birthday so we could share our first toast as men.

# # #

One knock. Two. And then a pound on the steel apartment door.

When the super let me into his tiny cluttered studio, it was way too late. Anything could have given him that heart attack -- the smokes, the cheap food he ate or just the plain stress of wondering how he got there.

After the coroner took his body, I was prepping to lock up when I caught a glimpse of my birthday card on his kitchen counter and thought twice about opening it. But who was I kidding?

I cracked open one of my Heinekins and read the card probably 100 times, which of course had a twenty dollar bill and six scribbled words:

"It's time for another field trip"

I sunk my head, put his twenty dollar bill in my pocket and thought of us at Two Guys the whole drive home.

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WHAT IF 'BRUCE' WROTE A DAMN GREAT FLASH?

I think it was around 1997... That's when I started thinking about 'voice' in relation to fiction and storytelling. I was barely developing mine at the the time but I do remember that I was reading Bernard Malamud and listening to a bunch of Bruce Springsteen. Something brewed in me. And mind you, it wasn't the rah-rah "Born in the USA" Bruce but the quieter tunes from his solo discs like "Nebraska" and "The Ghost of Tom Joad." I was on vacation in Florida and kept playing "Johnny 99" over and over on CD and in my head. Something struck me about that particular tune.

Now while I was always a fan of 'The Boss,' I was starting to discover his incredible penchant for storytelling through lyrics and words -- and sometimes the lack of them.

Flash-forward around 13 years.

Driving to work today I was listening to "Johnny 99" again after not hearing it for quite some time and damn if it didn't drum up those same feelings of awe. Fuckin' guy is great, I thought, and after visualizing the words I'd say "Johnny 99" makes for a stupendous piece of flash fiction.

So that said, check out Springsteen's tune reconfigured in narrative form and see if you agree... The video -- with that classic era Bruce -- is also embedded below if you wanna hear the tune.

* If you enjoy the tune, I recommend snagging a used copy of the Springsteen book "Songs" on Amazon if you want a collected copy of all his lyrics. They're sheer poetry. Gritty and gorgeous.

# # #

JOHNNY 99

Well they closed down the auto plant in Mahwah late that month. Ralph went out lookin' for a job but he couldn't find none. He came home too drunk from mixin' Tanqueray and wine. He got a gun, shot a night clerk, now they call him Johnny 99.

Down in the part of town where when you hit a red light you don't stop, Johnny's wavin' his gun around and threatenin' to blow his top. When an off-duty cop snuck up on him from behind -- out in front of the Club Tip Top -- they slapped the cuffs on Johnny 99.

# # #

Well the city supplied a public defender, but the judge was Mean John Brown. He came into the courtroom and stared young Johnny down.

"Well the evidence is clear gonna let the sentence son fit the crime. Prison for 98 and a year and we'll call it even Johnny 99"

A fist fight broke out in the courtroom and they had to drag Johnny's girl away. His mama stood up and shouted "Judge don't take my boy this way."

"Well son, you got a statement you'd like to make before the bailiff comes to forever take you away?"

"Now judge, I had debts no honest man could pay. The bank was holdin' my mortgage and they were gonna take my house away. Now I ain't sayin' that makes me an innocent man,
But it was more `n all this that put that gun in my hand.

...Now your honor, I do believe I'd be better off dead. So if you can take a man's life for the thoughts in his head. Then sit back in that chair and think it over, judge one more time. Let `em shave off my hair and put me on that killin' line..."

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GET AN AWARD, GIVE AN AWARD...

Well, Mr. Jon Strother of Mad Utopia, aka the grandpappy of #fridayflash certainly has started an epidemic with his viral award Fabulous Flash Award...

By now, it's been passed around more than a Thai hooker workin' overtime during Uncle Sam's occupation circa 1944. Um, you get the drift...

Yesterday, the wonderful and talented Gracie Motley, who blogs from Crone’s Cauldron Publications was kind enough to bestow it upon me as was Alan W. Davidson, the stately innkeeper at Conversations from Land's Edge last week. They both had very nice things to say about Bukowski's Basement and I appreciate it very much.

That said, I don't think I can pass it along to four new scribes in our community without hitting someone over and over. Instead, I want to hand it over to Absolutely-Kate Pilarcik and her blog At the Bijou.

On any given day, Kate may host friends from her vast writer community who produce eclectic flash or solemn poetry. On another, she'll surprise us with her rat-tat-tat-tatt lingo in a dazzling piece of flash of her own. Point being, she can spin a yarn and make you think and smile at the same time. Pop on over because she's a champion of writers, creativity and pretty much anything that zings to the creative gods.

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SHOULD AGENTS BE PUBLISHERS?

Well this is certainly a grey area...

The Wylie Agency, whose clients include such scribe estates of Saul Bellow and John Updike and living authors like Salman Rushdie and Philip Roth launched a publishing house last week called Odyssey Editions. So far, it boasts 20 e-books of acclaimed contemporary works, including Roth's "Portnoy's Complaint" and Updike's four "Rabbit" novels and available only through Amazon, an arrangement that enraged publishers and rival sellers.

The new venture also received a mixed response from the Authors Guild, which represents thousands of published writers. In an e-mail sent to authors, the Guild defended the Wylie Agency's right to sell e-books of older works without the publisher's permission, but also criticized excluding Amazon's competitors and worried about "serious potential conflicts of interest" when an agent becomes a publisher.

"The most obvious of these (conflicts) is the possibility of self-dealing to the detriment of the agency's client, the author," the Guild's message said. "A major agency starting a publishing company is weird, no matter how you look at it."

What say you? To read more, click HERE.

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IT'S #SPOKENSUNDAY TIME...

For my #SpokenSunday piece this week, I went to the archives again for the audio reading of my poem "What She Said." It can be found HERE.

Listen and enjoy... Also, feel free to join the #SpokenSunday fun on Twitter below...

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HER FIRST NIGHT (flash fiction)

Focusing only on the squeaks of the rusted bedsprings, she felt his sweaty stubble deep in her neck and she almost cried.

Ivan – at least that’s what he said his name was - reeked a pungent mix of English Leather, Wild Turkey, Vitalis -- oh yeah, and wicked b.o. As he pounded away, Ivan kept making her say his name over and over as she moaned.

When it was done, she hid under the sheets and watched him wobble down the flophouse stairs. Eventually, she found enough strength to make sure he was actually gone and tiptoed into the hallway.

She weeped into a crouch and found comfort in a long, slow and tired drag.

That was her first and it was over.

# # #

A lifetime later, a bloodied older Ivan showed up in her ER and she quickly remembered her first night as the world’s most inexperienced hooker.

Using the expertise she learned at her very expensive med school, she decided that Ivan couldn’t be saved.

She left Ivan on the stretcher and ripped off her rubber gloves, throwing them into the trash. "Thanks for the textbooks, jerkoff..." she whispered to herself. "Too bad you won't find out what was in them."

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'DRAGON TATTOO' SETS E-MILESTONE

And who said people wouldn't read on their electronic thing-a-ma-jigs?

Late Swedish author Stieg Larsson's Millennium trilogy has set an electronic milestone and has sold over 1 million copies in the e-book editions, publisher Alfred A. Knopf said yesterday.

He's the second scribe to join the e-million club -- "Along Came A Spider" scribe and mystery thriller writer James Patterson also sold more than 1 million e-books.

Amazon.com, the biggest player in the growing e-book market, told AP that Larsson's "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo," (the first book in the Millennium trilogy) is the all-time top seller on the e-book reading device the Kindle.

To read more via AP, click HERE.

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NEW KAFKA TEXTS TO BE RELEASED, SAYS JUDGE

An Israeli judge overseeing a tussle over papers that once belonged to the author Franz Kafka has ruled that details of the documents should be made public.

The literary world now awaits previously unpublished works emerging from boxes containing manuscripts, letters and journals written by the mysterious Czech author and his adviser and friend Max Brod.

According to the newspaper Haaretz, the items include a handwritten short story by Kafka that has never been seen by the public. More boxes have yet to be opened, it reported.

It seems almost Kafkaesque...

To read more via AP, click HERE

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THE LOVELY BLOG AWARD - PLUS 7 THINGS ABOUT ME

The very manly and prolific John Wiswell who blogs at The Bathroom Monologues have given us the (very unmanly-looking) One Lovely Blog Award.

I gotta say, it looks like Holly Hobbie designed this thing with all its frilly doilies and teacups on it. But I digress...

Anyway, here are the rules: I think I have to tell you guys seven things about myself that you may not have known and pass the award along to a few worthy bloggers.

That said, though, I'm sure this award has made the rounds so I'm not sure if I can hit a blog that hasn't had it. If I give it to you and you've received it already, my apologies.

In any case, here are the seven things you may not have known about me:

1. I had two kidney operations when I was 11 and 13 and needed to go to Cornell Medical Center in The Big Apple. Only two docs at the time could've performed the operations -- I had blockages in my kidneys and probably wouldn't have lived to see college had they not been found.

2. If I may put my Bukowski grittiness aside, allow me to say that I could happily live at Disney World resorts 24/7... If you put me at the Boardwalk Resort which replicates an East Coast boardwalk during the roaring 20s, I'd be fine. Especially with all the hot jazz they pipe in everywhere. Now this is blasphemous since Buk was notorious for hating Mickey Mouse.

3. September 11, 2001 was one of the most surreal days of my life. Driving to work, watching those towers smoke in the distance mere miles away was downright scary. It was also one of the only two days during my 20-plus years working at my newspaper that we printed an "EXTRA" edition -- you know, those things paperboys sell on street corners in B&W movies.

4. HGTV soothes me. No kidding...

5. I was pretty much dry until the age of 24ish. It's true... A woman did, in fact, drive me to drink. Thank God. ;)

6. I take roughly 50 vitamins a day. Maybe more. What else would explain my youthful effervescence?

7. I'm no thrill seeker. I don't jump outta planes, ski, hike, mountain climb, mountain bike, swim, ride a motorcycle, jet ski, surf or snowboard. I chill. Gimmie a cabana, newspaper, pair of shades and a cold drink at a five-star Vegas strip hotel. That's what I do best...

And now, here's who I want to bestow the "Lovely Blogger Award" upon:

scibo ergo sum: Jen Brubacher's nifty blog is a cool lil' hangout for any writer. She's a librarian who writes fiction (mostly Mystery/Suspense) and posts mainly about the writing craft, books and authors, libraries and information technology, and issues such as censorship and privacy. Good stuff all around.

Life on the Muskoka River: Cathy Olliffe's stupendous blog delivers her elegant musings, well-crafted flash fiction and a plethora of guest writers where one of the main highlights are Cathy's profile on her subjects. She's got such a way with words that you'll find yourself hanging out at her house more and more...

Mindspeak: Carrie Clevenger brings it on so many levels. Her yarns, ranging from disturbing horror to nuanced crime and noir, are delivered in a gut punch style that is certainly unique. If ever there's a scribe that leaves me in awe, it's Ms. Clevenger.

Winedrunk Sidewalk: John Grochalski's no-frills joint is one of my favorite blogs. When I grow up as a writer, I wanna be just like him. He delivers a poem a day from the gritty streets of Brooklyn (I believe) and my jaw drops at his prolific nature. He makes it look easy. Sadly, we were supposed to share a flipbook/chapbook together published by the now defunct Tainted Coffee Press / Zygote in my Coffee outfit. It woulda been a great title.

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L.A. REVIEW OF BOOKS TO LAUNCH THIS FALL

Jerry Stahl

Would Buk have gotten behind The Los Angeles Review of Books, an online periodical that will include multiplatform book reviews, author profiles, Skype interviews, readings as well as critical essays on classic authors? We think yes...

The new journal launches in the fall under the direction of Tom Lutz, a professor and chair of the creative writing department at the University of California at Riverside.

He's snagged an impressive stable of over 200 contributing editors including several Pulitzer winners and West Coast–centric writers like Jonathan Kirsch, Marisa Silver, Aimee Bender, T.C. Boyle, Janet Fitch and Jerry Stahl.

To read more, click HERE.

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