DOES IT GET ANY COOLER THAN THIS??

Lord... What happened to these vintage-looking ads? Where have all the cool dudes gone? The year was 1966 and Connery was also promoting his film "A Fine Madness."

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CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS ANSWERS A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION

Christopher Hitchens is one of my favorite authors and journalists.

The Brit-American's career has spanned more than four decades, making him a public intellectual, and a staple of lecture circuits and talk shows - notably HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher."

He has been a columnist and literary critic at The Atlantic, Slate, World Affairs, The Nation and Free Inquiry. Of late, he's a contributing editor and columnist for Vanity Fair. His latest book is entitled "Hitch-22: A Memoir," and was published this month.

In the video below, he's not talking about finding mass graves in Iraq, the Middle East arms race or the growing rebellion in Iran.

Nope... he addresses something far more personal and interesting.

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WHISKEY MADE TO ORDER (FOR THE MAN IN YOUR LIFE)

OK... Every so often a gift comes along that is so supremely wondeful that I'm compelled to put it on a ridiculous wish list that I know I'll never get fulfilled. Don't tell anyone, but I once put a Breitling on my Amazon Wish List. Shhhh.

The other day, I stumbled across the web site Whisk(e)y Your Way, an innovative program for those who truly love whiskey.

I ask all you enthusiasts who love your hooch: Imagine developing your very own brand of whiskey and selecting each and every component that goes into it? The expert distiller at the site guides you through the process of developing the mash bill, the distillation specifics, the type of oak and level of char for your barrel and every other aspect of whiskey creation.

If customers choose, they may participate in preparing the wash, distilling and finally barreling the spirit. As it ages in the cask, buyers will be able to sample it as frequently as they wish, learning how the oak contributes to the finished whiskey.

When the hooch is sufficiently aged, they proof, bottle and label the contents of the barrel. The end result? You take home about 100 bottles of custom crafted, one-of-a-kind whiskey.

Find out the paltry price of the custom-made hooch after the jump...

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MEET SOME EDWARDIAN DRUNKS ... (FUNNY VINTAGE MUGSHOT PICS)

Drunks have always been drunks... Recently, The London Daily Mail compiled a collection of vintage shame-faced Edwardian drunks as they stared rather blankly into the lens of the police camera.

The pic above is James Doyle, a laborer whose arrest record listed such "peculiarities" as having two scars on his right forearm and a crossed right eye. He was pinched for being drunk and disorderly in a watering hole -- called public houses back in 1904.

These habitual drunkards were charged with such offenses as being caught while in charge of a horse, carriage and even a steam engine. I guess that was the old school version of DUI...

The extensive info under each mug was compiled by the Watch Committee of the City of Birmingham, which was set up by the police to enforce the Licensing Act of 1902. The act was passed in an attempt to deal with public drunks, giving police the power to apprehend those found drunk in any public place and unable to take care of themselves.

To check out the rest of the collection, click HERE.

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AMERICA'S DRUNKEST CITY IS...

"I'm in Fresno and boy... Am I fucked up..."

Every year Men's Health magazine rates the "Drunkest Cities in America" by measuring such data as death rates from alcoholic liver disease, booze-fueled car crashes, frequency of binge-drinking in the past 30 days, number of DUI arrests, and severity of DUI penalties.

For 2010, the health mag has named Fresno, California as the nation's most effed up city.

The yearly study also analyzes both alcohol consumption and the serious effects it can have on the community at large. Last year’s winner, Denver, fell down to 17 so I guess congratulations are in order...

Others in the top five include Reno, Billings (Montana), Riverside (California), and Austin (Texas).

The entire list of the 50 Most Drunk American Cities continues after the jump.

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OUR KINDA PLACE...

I wanna get my hair cut here... Thanks to Barry Northern for the pic. Thanks for lookin' out...

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AWESOME ALERT: BURGER KING TO SELL BEER

Burger King has unveiled plans to sell beer and burgers at a Whopper Bar — a new BK concept to compete with casual dining restaurants — in Miami Beach's tourist-heavy South Beach. The South Beach Whopper Bar is scheduled to open in mid-February.

Don't look for the hooch, though, at conventional Burger Kings. That's not in the plans. But more Whopper Bars — which offer an assortment of burgers, toppings and beer — could be on tap in tourist hot spots such as New York, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, says Chuck Fallon, president of Burger King North America.

A brewski at the new Whopper Bar — served in special aluminum bottles to keep them extra cold — fetches $4.25. Or, order beer as part of a Whopper combo and your bill will be $7.99 — roughly $2 more than the same combo meal with a fountain drink.

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THE WHISKEY CHEAT SHEET

OK, guys... We all know that whiskey is a broad term for describing different variations of the spirit. Several regions and countries that make whiskey have their own distilling rules and regulations for the hooch to be considered official.

In the simplest of terms, whiskey is comprised of water, a grain and yeast (if you add hops to those three, you get beer), and is aged in oak casks. The way you manipulate these ingredients accounts for all of the different varieties.



So instead of being like Mikey in "Swingers" (above) and snagging "Any Glen...", check out this nifty cheat sheet that describes the subtle differences between this glorious giggle water.

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BOOZE WITHOUT THE HANGOVER MAY BE COMING

As I languish through a miserable weekend with strep throat, not much is making me happy. This little tidbit, though, brightened my evening somewhat.

Professor David Nutt, one of Britain's top drug experts, is developing a synthetic alcohol substitute developed from chemicals similar in composition to Valium that could give users the pleasant feelings of tipsiness without affecting the parts of the brain that lead to barroom brawls, crippling addiction, and sleeping in your car.

To get the skinny, check out the article at Popular Science.

And for shits and giggles, check out this cute/maybe-not-so-cute vid (depending on your sense of humor) of a pug that's said to be drunk. Dunno if it's true, but the dog does look hungover as hell.

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OUR KIND OF SOUP...

Dunno where this pic exactly originated online, but I think it might be our kind of place. Right?

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DRILLING FOR ... SCOTCH??

A team of Antarctic adventurers will soon set off on a mission to drill through Antarctic ice to find crates of whiskey that were abandoned during a 1909 polar expedition.

British polar explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton had two crates of the now-defunct McKinlay and Co. whiskey shipped to his Antarctic base near Cape Royds 100 years ago. They were stashed under the floorboards - presumably to hide them from inquisitive penguins - and somehow abandoned, until restoration workers rediscovered them during work on his hut in 2006.

Whyte & Mackay, the beverage group that now owns McKinlay and Co., has asked for a sample of the 100-year-old hooch for a series of tests that could decide whether to relaunch the now-defunct scotch.

Top read more about it, click HERE.

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BEER AND THANKSGIVING, PERFECT TOGETHER

While my uppity family ponders which uppity wine to bring out from their uppity cellar, I'll be salivating about the hearty beer that I should be drinking with my Thanksgiving feast...

For more tips about beer and Thanksgiving, head on over to Gunaxin (Stuff for Guys...) for lots of great tidbits.

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NO MORE CRAPPY SCOTCH

New guidelines to protect whisky from foreign imitation, including new rules on labelling and bottling, are coming into force in Scotland.

Some of the provisions:

* Five categories of Scotch Whisky are defined for the first time; Single Malt Scotch Whisky, Single Grain Scotch Whisky, Blended Malt Scotch Whisky, Blended Grain Scotch Whisky, and Blended Scotch Whisky.

* These compulsory category sales terms will be required to appear clearly and prominently on all labels.

* A requirement to only bottle Single Malt Scotch Whisky in Scotland.

* A ban on the use of the term "Pure Malt".

Read more HERE

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HER OTHER CHILDREN (poem)

HER OTHER CHILDREN
After working her shift, she barely
had enough energy to disrobe,
much less play with a toddler.
But it had to be done.

Once the boy was asleep, she'd
sneak downstairs to be with her
other children who waited
patiently for her each evening.

There wasn't a night that went
by that she didn't long for them
and there they were. Loyal.
Her three boys, in waiting.
Proudly.
Standing tall.
Handsome.

Some days Johnnie,
so spiffy in black,
would be the one to help
her through the rough patches
with that ever so cozy essence.

Jim, stoic and strong, said
little but packed a punch.
He usually came through
when she needed to see things
clearer than they appeared.

Ah, but Jack was her old standby,
her first born of sorts and
the one she ran to with the
most comfort and ease.

But by the end of the night,
she'd be drained by them.
They were sometimes too
much all at once, so after
a few hours, she'd wave
them off, until tomorrow.

Walking upstairs, she'd catch
a glimpse of herself in a cracked
hallway mirror and would
turn away before her reflection
angered her.

Little did she know her three
wise men took more of a toll
on her than that little guy
upstairs any day of the week.

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HO WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES: RAUNCHY AD PISSES OF DISNEY

Wow. This is kinda funny. An Australian beer ad featuring a tawdry version of Snow White has raised the blood pressure at the Mouse House (that's Disney, folks).

The raunchy ad, for Jamieson's Raspberry Ale (ewww), depicts the chaste fairytale heroine blowing smoke rings as she lies in bed with seven semi-clad dwarfs.

Meet "Ho White"... while the loveable dwarves Sleepy, Happy and Doc have been renamed Filthy, Smarmy and Randy - supposedly to represent different types of drinkers

Campaign creators The Foundry claimed the idea was to convince Australian drinkers that the fruit-flavored beer was "anything but sweet."

Guess it worked...

To read more in depth, click HERE.

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DON'T DRINK AND DIAL ...

... or the 15 Most Common Mistakes People Make when They're Drunk

Let's be honest. We all like to get behind the cork now and again. No biggie. That said, however, there are times when the bottle gets the best of us and we quite simply, do dumb shit...

Check out this hilarious post, courtesy of Sloshspot that sheds some light on the 15 things people should definitely stay away from once they have imbibed a wee bit too much.

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THE MOST EXPENSIVE BOOZE YOU'LL EVER DRINK

The great thing about good 'ol Hank is that he drank just about whatever you dumped onto his lap. Cheap vino and even cheaper hooch... That's why this post is funny. Bukowski would probably tell you to 'fuck off' once he found out how much of this premium stuff tasted.

We've all done it. We've spent the night in the big city and doled 20 beans per crappy well drink. As we drink it, we feel guilty. The place clearly robbed us. But we shouldn't feel so bad...

Check out this post that peruses some truly pricey concoctions -- some of which could buy a brand new home. Need an example? The Macallan 1926 will run a mere $75,000 a bottle.

Read all about it HERE.

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GUINESS BEER TURNS THE BIG 5-0

It’s one of the world's most famous beer and today, Guinness celebrates its 250th birthday. Celebrations kick off in Dublin, Ireland, where a host of musicians including Kelly Rowland, Sir. Tom Jones and Kasabian will perform at venues across the city.

To read more about it, click HERE.

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'Ahhhh ... THE FRENCH!!' A DRUNK ORSON (HILARIOUS)

You just gotta love drunk celebs ... Better yet, drunk celebs behind the cork AS THEY WORK. So, that said, check out this priceless clip of Orson Welles half-in-the-bag while shooting one of those vintage Paul Masson Wine commercials of the '70s.

And remember, they'll sell no wine before their time ...

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SOCIAL NETWORK FOR WHISKEY LOVERS

William Faulkner once said "There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others." Well, late Mr. Faulkner, have I got a social networking site for you.

Connosr is the place to be. Fans contribute ratings and reviews to help you decide your next single malt purchase. Whiskeys are broken down into Scotch, Irish, and American, and can also be browsed by dozens of user-created tags such as vanilla, smoky, earthy, and spicy.

Enjpy and I'll see ya there!

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