IF ELVIS WERE ALIVE AND MADE A COMEBACK ...

... It might look like this.

Allow me to backtrack a bit. I've had more minor illnesses and colds this year than I think ever before and spent many a day and night watching crap on cable that I probably never would.

One day, there was a flick called "Lonely Street" on that starred comic Jay Mohr. Being that Mohr is a Jersey boy, I decided to give it a whirl. The film has an interesting pedigree. It's directed by Peter Ettinger and stars Robert Patrick, Nikki Cox, Ernie Hudson, Mike Starr, Joe Mantegna, Paul Rodriguez and comedian Katt Williams.

"Lonely Street" is the first film to be adapted from the popular series of detective novels by Steve Brewer.

The official synopsis as as follows:

Bumbling PI Bubba Mabry (Mohr) will take any assignment to pay the rent, so when JG (Mike Starr) offers him some serious cash to protect a mystery client from an overzealous reporter, Bubba thinks he's got it made but gets more than he bargained for when he discovers his client is Elvis -- aka "Mr. Aaron" (Robert Patrick. Mr Aaron has faked his death and is planning a comeback.

When the case takes a wild twist and the reporter turns up dead with Bubba as the prime suspect, he enlists the help of streetwise Rodent (Katt Williams) for some fast answers. With Detective Romero (Paul Rodriguez), Captain Morgan (Ernie Hudson), the beautiful bombshell Bambi Gamble (Nikki Cox), and a sexy tabloid editor, Felicia Quattlebaum (Lindsay Price), hot on Bubba's tail in this whodunit, a rock-n-roll roller coaster unfolds.



Standard comedy caper stuff and the film probably could have probably been better. So why am I writing this?

Camp and one-liners aside, what makes the film worthwhile was the stupendous performance by Robert Patrick as The King of Rock and Roll. We all love to wonder what Elvis would have been like has he lived. Did he fake his death? What would he have looked like? What would he have recorded? And I just love the fact that the novel and film depicts Presley as a health freak -- complete with wheat germ and smoothie shakes.

And wow... Patrick's take on The King is uncanny and film's comeback tune for Elvis is F@#%ing killer, embedded below...

Warning: Don't watch or listen if you don't want this tune in your head all night.